Let’s face it; it can seem almost impossible to stay positive and motivated when you feel as though everything has just gone to shit.
Returning home after a year of living on the other side of the world was never going to be easy, but everything got a whole lot harder when my boyfriend told me he wouldn’t be coming back with me. I fell in love with him for many reasons, one of them being his work ethic and relentless energy and drive to be successful. Therefore it was almost inevitable that at some point he would outgrow our relationship in order to pursue his career.
Am I upset? Of course I am, but I can see a new level of personal growth in myself and this has been a real comfort. There was a time in my life when a break up or even a minor set back would have seemed catastrophic, but I believe that my time travelling has equipped me with knowledge and techniques in order to cope with life’s (not so) little hick-ups. Naturally, I thought I would share what I’ve learnt in the hope that it might help any of you guys going through your own ‘rough patch.’
Look after yourself
Although eating your own body weight in chocolate and staying in bed for a week might seem like the most appealing option, it (almost) never solves anything!
Eating well, staying active and getting a good nights sleep will set you up to deal with whatever crap the day may throw at you. It’s hard to find the motivation to do anything after only a few hours sleep and half a piece of toast, even at the best of times.
Look after yourself, and you’ll be glowing on even the gloomiest of days!
Look after your friendships
As well as nurturing your body it is so important to look after your relationships. You may feel like shutting yourself away from the world but usually that just makes things worse. It’s hard to make progress in this world when you have isolated yourself.
Instead, surround yourself with wonderful, inspiring people and never feel embarrassed to seek comfort or advice from your family, friends or partner.
Focus on what you have rather than what you have lost
You’re sick. Your relationship has come to an end. You’ve just lost your job. Whatever may have happened, it is important to remember that this is only one element of your life and you still have everything else to be thankful and positive about. Don’t let this setback define you and dictate the rest of your week, month, year etc. In the past, the end of a relationship would have affected my health, my education, my friendships… I would just watch my life fall to pieces as I let one issue ruin everything.
Push on and continue to socialise, enjoy your favourite hobbies, work hard and grow as a person. The issue may not always resolve itself but you will have strong foundations to support you through hard times when you maintain a balanced, well-rounded lifestyle.
Find happiness in other people’s successes
This is often easier said than done, but it is the best feeling in the world when you find that you are genuinely able to find joy in other people’s successes and good fortune. At times it may feel as though you are being left behind…
‘When is it my turn for success?!’ I hear you cry.
Successful people work hard and never give up, so use the achievements of others as fuel to get you a step closer to accomplishing your own dreams. If they can do it, there’s no reason you can’t!
I can honestly say that I am so happy for my (now ex) boyfriend and his recent success, even if it does mean the end of our relationship. And that feels great!
Have a role model
It’s often helpful to have a role model when you’re feeling low. I’m not talking about a celebrity obsession, more someone who you believe would cope well in your current situation; who would fight on no matter what.
For the majority of my life, my role model has been my grandma – the eternal optimist. There is nothing quite so humbling as listening to a woman who has lived through the war, lost everything, worked her entire life and still wakes up on the right side of the bed every single day, with a desire for nothing more than a happy, healthy family.
Make plans for a brighter tomorrow
Having realistic short-term goals as well as big dreams for the future always helps to push me through rough patches. It’s so satisfying when you get to the end of the month or week and can say you’ve done everything you wanted. Don’t get weighed down by the stresses and struggles of a bad situation, instead make a conscious effort to ensure that tomorrow is a better day!
Push yourself because no one is going to do it for you. Put down that tub of ice cream, peel yourself out of your pyjamas, shave your legs and get back out there!
You’ve got this!